Beyond Vengefulness: 3 Pathways To Inner Healing

Feel like it’s your duty to claim revenge?

What if you considered that perhaps your true duty is that of using your energy of vengefulness, to tend to and heal your own unresolved wounds… and perhaps even the wounds of your lineage.

Human behaviour has always fascinated me (including my own!), but what has fascinated me even more, since childhood, is the capacity for humans to heal, grow, evolve and empower unimaginable peace, love and harmony, within themselves and others. As a species, we seem to forget this.

The intention of my article today is to welcome you to:

  • be curious about the energetic experience of vengefulness; and/ or your holding onto any simmering bitterness; or restless energy of injustice (past or present);


  • acknowledge your conscious choice, to accept any level of vengeful energy, as an invitation for growth, expression and deep self-expansion.

I invite you to share this article. Email or direct message it to a friend, family or colleague.


Because the whole point of life is to flourish, and to aid in the flourishing of others.

NOW, for those of you nurturing career/ business and family…

Know that responding to your outer focused vengefulness, as a segue for deep inner healing sets an incredibly strong foundation for nurturing a Flourishing Family.


Because, your ability to go inwards with compassion and self-acceptance provides a powerful model of personal growth. This helps children witness and understand their incredible ability to co-create their reality, and contribute to the quality of their relationship with themselves and others.

So, let’s dive into three powerful pathways to evolve beyond vengefulness, to nurture your inner healing.

#1 Reinstate TRUST in something greater than your individual self

Have you ever delegated something successfully? Bring that to mind right now. In that moment, when you delegated… you ‘handed something over’, how did you feel?

Usually one experiences a sense of lightness. Relief. Renewed focus. Rejuvenated energy.


Because you have created mental, emotional, physical ‘space’ for yourself to be more present, more productive, more fulfilled, and… more supported.

The challenge many have with delegation however, is the letting go of control. (PS control is ultimately an illusion, that requires releasing).

How do you do that?

Actively practice trusting in something greater than yourself; whatever label you choose to give (God, Universe etc), holding true, that you are supported unconditionally and in powerful ways beyond your cognitive comprehension.

This level of delegation does not mean you are a passive participant in life; in fact it is the opposite. When you rediscover a profound sense of trust in something greater than yourself, you place yourself in a ‘position of peaceful partnership’, and energised inspired action. This defuses a need to ‘right’ a perceived wrong; as you are drawn more so to navigating life’s challenges with faith, grace, groundedness and resilience.

#2 LEAN into your school of life curriculum

When you signed up for your humanness experience, you chose your learning curriculum. We all came to learn, grow, and evolve; helping/ serving others along the way. No matter what our ‘role’, ‘title’ or socioeconomic status is… we are wired to live in communion with one another.

And so, as much as we may feel separate from others at times, there is always a commonality (I know this is not always easy to accept!).

In the context of experiencing vengefulness… consider asking yourself these questions.

  • Am I foregoing my personal power and draining my vitality, by harbouring vengefulness?
  • Who/ what would benefit from my vengefulness, besides my ego?
  • What would love do?

For example, you may have signed up for a school of life lesson that included, learning forgiveness, at a level of 9/10. And so… you may find yourself experiencing recurring patterns in your life, that require the practice of forgiveness; to allow yourself inner freedom, deep healing and a new ‘space’ in which your life can flourish.

If you feel forgiveness may be one of your school of life curriculum lessons, see the resources section at the bottom of this article.

#3 STEP into your highest truth

Use any feelings of vengefulness to take a deep dive into your heart and soul.

Yes, this means being awake to when you are distracting or numbing yourself with junk food, alcohol, over exercise, digital binging, and other activities that you know deep down are not aligned with the truth of who you are.

This often means asking for help.

The spiritual lesson of feeling vengeful lies in its invitation to explore your inner wounds and attachments. This can range range from mild discomfort to extraordinarily uncomfortable and overwhelming.

You are worthy of help and support. Full stop.

When you make the decision to get real with yourself, it represents a courageous commitment to explore your inner landscape with honesty and vulnerability.

It involves a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths, acknowledge areas of growth, and embrace the journey of self-discovery with an open heart and mind.

If you are looking for a simple place to start, a powerful practice is that of journaling. I encourage handwritten journaling where possible. Choose your journaling time with intention; and for a super powerful boost, take yourself to a place in nature that feels good for you.

By facing these feelings with compassion and mindfulness, you can uncover deeper layers of pain and begin the journey of healing and growth.

This fosters understanding and connection with yourself and others in the larger tapestry of life.

On a final note… please remember;

  • One of the most important relationships you have, is the relationship with what is going on around you.
  • Asking for help, is one of the most courageous acts of authentic self-care and deep self-respect

May we flourish together,

Sonia xo


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Award Winning Book: FLOURISH FOR MUMS by Sonia Bestulic