Episode 64 – Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children

Nowadays, children are very much being impacted by technology and social media. This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it is an undeniable fact that because of what they see, hear, and read on those platforms, their minds are slowly adapting to the virtual world by getting emotionally unstable and not having much time conversing with real people in the real world. Today, our guest is someone who is passionate about teaching about emotional intelligence to children, high school students, and even adults. 

Jacqui Preugschat is a Special Education teacher who has a bachelor in Justice Studies, majoring in Criminology. She is also a University lecturer in the area of Criminology and is an emotional intelligence practitioner and coach and is studying a diploma in Leadership and Management, majoring in Emotional Intelligence. She shares her expertise as a Freelance Writer, contributing to KidSport, NewsCore, and Thrive Global. Through Jacqui’s business, Integrity of Heart, she provides one-on-one, group coaching and support in the area of EQ for children, high schools students, and businesses. Jacqui has also written a book series called Tessa’s Books of Elegance, which are activity and storybooks to encourage girls aged 5-15 to show kindness and use their talents and learn new ones. In late 2020, Jacqui received two awards from the AusMumpreneur Awards. She came second in the Queensland Author category, and third in the Queensland Author category for the People’s Choice Award. In her spare time, Jacqui loves exploring Brisbane and its surrounding areas, and of course supporting local businesses.

Key Takeaways:

Join me and Jacqui Preughschat in this fun conversation and learn:

  • About what emotional intelligence is and what its goals are
  • The set of six skills that would help people evaluate their emotional intelligence
  • The impact of technology on children’s emotional intelligence and self-awareness
  • How parents and carers can build healthy habits to have a balance between human interaction time and gadgets time
  • Signs your children are developing into emotionally intelligent individuals
  • The importance of modelling and  empathy and positive influence on your children                                                                                      
  • Involving children in physical acts of showing empathy and kindness to others
  • Jacqui’s top strategies to help nurture kids’ emotional intelligence

Six Emotional Intelligence Competencies:

  1. Self-awareness – This is a fundamental skill that involves being aware of how you respond to things (how you handle criticism and feedback), making yourself present in regard to when you have conversations with people; and thinking about how you could have done things a little bit better when the pressure is on.
  2. Awareness of others – This is practised through putting yourself in other people’s shoes or being empathetic; not immediately judging how someone reacts, taking all factors into consideration, and stepping away from the situation a little bit before you say or do something you might regret.
  3. Authenticity – This simply means being genuine.
  4. Emotional reasoning – Someone who is emotionally reasonable has an expansive look at the world—basing their decisions not just on facts and knowledge, but also on a range of other information.
  5. Self-management – This talks about resilience, “What am I going to do to help with my resilience and self-manage my moods?”
  6. Positive influence – This involves empowering yourself and other people, and not being critical, judgmental, overreacting, or tearing down.

What Parents and Carers can Do to Build Healthy Interaction Time Habits with their Children:

“Time slop into a schedule for this. Otherwise, weeks will pass, and technology is going to raise your children for you.”

Actions Children Do that Reflect Healthy Emotional Intelligence:

  • Having empathy towards other people, being kind and caring
  • Giving nature (not self-focused), sharing with others
  • Having a good world view, knowing that the world is bigger than themselves in their own home
  • Showing courage

Effective Way for Parents and Carers to Model Empathy to Children:

  1. Be thankful in situations.
  2. Focus on the bigger picture outside of yourself and outside of their lives.
  3. Discuss other people – what happened to them, their situations. Have conversations, ask questions.
  4. Involve them to do things for other people. Ask questions like, “What can we do to help?” “Let’s send them something.”
  5. Let them get used to the fact that the world does not revolve around them.

Top Strategy to Nurture Children with Their Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Allow for failure.
  2. Sort out criticism.

Quotes:

Sonia Bestulic

“As adults, we want to be listened to. Kids are no different.”

Jacqui Preughschat

“Because everyone is so ‘busy, busy, busy, well, I believe that everyone needs to pull back from that busyness and actually lock in time to spend quality time—whatever it is, whatever you call quality time—with your children, and having those face-to-face interactions. Otherwise, children can come across now as being disconnected, insensitive, limited in how they think, temperamental.”

“They need different life views other than what they might be reading, saying, and hearing on social media and other places like that. They need a good grounding and variety of their parents and their extended family and friends speaking into their life. Otherwise, we are going to really have a future generation that is just really not empathetic, can’t have conversations.”

“Children watch everything, hear everything. They don’t miss out on anything. You might think that they’re not listening, they are listening.”

“It’s okay to fail. It’s a good thing if you fail because you learn from your mistakes.”

“Sort out criticism from well-known trusted sources to other sources that are not very trusted. And, look at the positive as much as you can in everything.”

Links:

Daniel Goleman’s book: Emotional Intelligence – https://www.danielgoleman.info/books/emotional-intelligence/

Jacqui Preughschat’s Website – https://www.tessas.com.au/

Integrity of Heart – https://www.tessas.com.au/integrity-of-heart

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PODCAST DISCLAIMER

Any information and links presented within the Chatabout Children™ with Sonia Bestulic podcast are aimed to provide general information and advice only.
Information is to be used at the discretion of the consumer/ listener. The information presented does not replace or substitute the expert advice received from a direct consultation with the relevant qualified professional.

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Bestselling Book: FLOURISH FOR MUMS by Sonia Bestulic